Fear of Success vs. Fear of Failure: Why You Subconsciously Prefer Staying Small
Are you afraid of failing or actually more afraid of actually winning?
No one would really admit that, but failure, in a way, is comfortable. If you fail, you stay where you are. People comfort you. You stay harmless, relatable, and small. Your ego already knows how to survive rock bottom.
But success? Success is terrifying. Success means high visibility. It means no hiding, higher stakes, envious peers, and outgrowing people who only loved you when you were struggling. It can change the dynamics of your relationships.
The shadow knows that stepping into your full power risks expulsion from the herd. If your subconscious believes that being extraordinary equals being targeted or abandoned, it will slam the brakes on your momentum every single time. Being a tall poppy requires immense resilience.
Fear of success lives in your nervous system. A the primal terror of standing exposed in an open field with nowhere to hide. You’re the one responsible, and you’re the one who takes the fall. Being ok with that takes time and effort; for some it’s innate due to their strong sense of self, maybe even a positive upbringing. For many others, if you’ve been accused, persecuted and blamed, then putting yourself out there willingly feels crazy.
So here’s how I did it.
Somatic Therapy for the old wounds. EFT tapping to create the new pathways. Showing up even when I was scared. Putting boundaries in place. Energy Healing. Crying when the trolls came. It took time to create the capacity and resilience I needed, but I did it, and still do work around this.
Empowering women with life-long skills for success and being successful is my jam.
